I have my father’s eyes

I have my father’s eyes

In a few months I will turn 84 years old. I never dreamed that one day I would be sitting on a boat in Newport Beach Harbor with two of my newly found half brothers enjoying a picnic and happily getting to know each other. Or that one of them would just keep looking at me – staring at me – and when I finally asked him why, he quietly told me, as tears welled up in his eyes, that I have my fathers eyes.

I have my father’s eyes. I was so touched by that as it, at long last, gave me a living connection to my Dad. Never mind that I had become an engineer just like him or that he and I shared a life long love of fishing. No, it was only in hearing my brother tearfully tell me that I have his eyes that it finally hit me. I have found him. I have at long last found my birth father just as I had earlier found my birth mother through DNA and the hard work of John Suggs. I have found my way home.

I first met and hired John, four years ago, when I was 80. Because I had been born in Pennsylvania, John advised me that the Pennsylvania Birth Records for adoptees was scheduled to be opened in less than a year. Perhaps I might want to wait for that? Luckily I said “no”, that I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to start right away with him.

I say luckily because when my original birth records were finally released to me, John and I quickly determined that the names of my birth mother and my birth father had been fabricated on the birth certificate. I was the result of an expensive private adoption in the 1930’s that had been handled by a private attorney and part of his “services” was to guarantee that nothing would ever come out. No one would know the true names of my birth mother and birth father. The names given to the state and recorded on the original birth certificate were false.

Thank God for DNA and for John’s expertise and dedication. As he always says: “DNA doesn’t lie”. In my case even my original birth certificate lied. So it was only with DNA and John that, after three and a half years, we were finally able to figure out who my birth parents actually were. We found them!

Not surprisingly, both had long ago passed away but they each left behind wonderful families. John helped me to successfully reach out to my half siblings on both sides and our reunions have been a true blessing.

I can’t ever thank John enough for all the hard work he put in to our search and all the support he gave me over the years.

Trust me, if you are reading this and wondering, John will be able to help you too.

Best,

Martin H.
Redding, CT

I can’t even begin to thank you. I was ready to give up and YOU wouldn’t let me!

I can’t even begin to thank you. I was ready to give up and YOU wouldn’t let me!

I have always wanted to know who my birth parents were, where did I come from, how much did I weigh at birth, what was my name etc. The usual things that everybody knows and take for granted.  But, as an adoptee, I didn’t know.  I always hated going places where I had to answer questions regarding “family” history because I didn’t know the answer and had to say why.

In my late 20’s and 30’s I used to watch all the TV talk shows on adoption. I used to cry whether it was a reunification or rejection. I used to wonder what it would be like if I could find my birth parents. Would the accept me or reject me? Because I did not know the answer, I would always get got cold feet when I thought about searching and simply refocused on my immediate family and my business. I knew that I couldn’t stand to be rejected again and that is what I feared would happen.

In my 40’s I met an older woman who was also adopted. We got very close. I thought of her as a Mother figure. I am able to talk to her about anything and get complete honesty. We have had long discussions about my desire to find my birth parents. At the end of these conversations I always would say “some day”.

I then met another adoptee and she had actually done it!  She had found her birth family with the assistance of John Suggs. After hearing her amazing story, I knew that I could no longer attempt to do this on my own “some day”. It was too difficult, the language barrier alone seemed insurmountable  because I was born in Quebec to French Speaking Canadians but adopted by English Speaking US Citizens and raised in CT.  Learning about John, I knew I had to call him. I so remember the day I screwed up my courage and called him. Hoping to sound confident – which I wasn’t – the message I left on John’s machine was “Hi, my name is Kathy, I got your # from JM. Let’s go find my parents!”

John returned my call, listened to my whole story and my situation and then confidently accepted my case. The search had begun!

Once the DNA results was received, John uploaded them into several DNA databases (“With your permission Kathy.” Because as you will learn, this is “your search” – “it is your life” – and you always call the shots throughout the search process.)  Then he began building family trees of all my closest matches from the databases. This is quite detailed, time intensive and tedious work – I know that I would never have had the patience for it. But John does and, over time, we began to see emerge some hopeful signs.  We tentatively reached out to some of my matches – be warned, some matches were lovely, just lovely, but others, well… not so much.  John walked with me through that whole challenging phase.

At one point we thought we had found a strong candidate for my birth mother in a group of untested Cousins to one of my 3rd Cousin matches. Everything seemed to be in alignment.  She was the right age, right place etc.  But she was untested and because we had a language barrier the first thing we had to do was find a person to translate for us. So there we were: me, John on the phone, my husband sitting next to me at the kitchen table offering his support and the translator also on the phone calling this elderly woman in Canada!  As I spoke to her via the translator she quickly said that she knew nothing about any baby being given up for adoption and ended the call.

That hang up just destroyed me and I wanted to stop. I texted John saying that it was too much and I wanted to stop. He called me immediately and gently consoled me as I cried.  He was wonderful!  Long story short, he simply would not let me quit. He reminded me that these searches are always emotional roller coasters with big highs and big lows. He promised me it was going to be okay. I trusted him and said okay.

Exactly one week later, my mother was found!!! I have a half-sister and I learned that my father and half-brother have passed away. This baby photo – at the top of my story here – is the only photo that my birth mom ever had of me to remember me.  She had so carefully kept it for over 50 years now and she tearfully shared it with me when I found her. We email each other using google translate daily and I am going up to meet them just as soon as my passport arrives.  I can’t wait to meet them!

John, I can’t even begin to thank you for all the time, energy, thoughtfulness, expertise, persistence, compassion etc that you put into helping me locate my birth parents!! I was ready to give up and YOU wouldn’t let me! You have been my rock through all this and there are no words that could truly express how thankful I am & how truly lucky I am to have found you! I NEVER could have done it without you!! 
I thank you from the very bottom of my heart! ♥️

Kathy S.

Bethel, CT

FIRST PERSON – A Father and Son Reunion

FIRST PERSON – A Father and Son Reunion

By Morgan ZC

haitiantimes.com

I had no idea who my father was for the first 74 years of my life. Given up for adoption, all I knew was what the adoption records stated: that my father had died before I was born.

I often wondered who he was? How did he die? Had he even known he was going to be a father?  Since I was born in 1944, was he a soldier? Did he die in the war? Was his death the reason I was put up for adoption?  

My adoption papers, offering no clues, merely stated about me: 

Morgan Zo Callahan as a child.

“The boy is a dark-complexioned child, thin and wiry with curly brown hair and large somewhat solemn eyes. On…the day before his third birthday, the child…was brought to the house of adoptive parents. Nothing is known of this child’s life up to this date.”

Seeking to find the answers that have eluded me all my life, I submitted my DNA to Ancestry.Com.  When the results came back, I got my first clue: the DNA showed that my father was of African heritage and that my paternal DNA matches in the database were all Haitians. Unfortunately, because so few Haitians have submitted their DNA for testing, the matches I had were few and only distantly related. 

So I hired a professional genetic genealogist, John F. Suggs, to help me in my search. It was from him that I finally learned who my father was: Lionel Durand, an eminent Haitian journalist.  Sadly, I also learned that my father had been alive and well for the first 17 years of my life but had never known of my existence.

Lionel Durand had been denied his right to know me – and I him – and to be named as my father on my birth and adoption documents.

So who was my father? Read more here>>>>

Thanks from the bottom of our hearts

Thanks from the bottom of our hearts

In 2006, I asked John Suggs if he would attempt to locate my long-time friend’s birth mother. My friend had been adopted at birth in 1967 in San Francisco. The only information he had was her name at the time of his birth and the city in England from where she hailed. He’d had a very strong yearning to reunite with her his entire life and spoke of her frequently. He had been able to locate the home where she lived in San Francisco at the time of his birth and had driven past it from time-to-time, drawn to it because it was his only connection with his birth mother. But that was where his trail ended.

John researched a lot of different avenues both in the US and in England in order to find her. The turning point came when he located the woman’s marriage records and married name and discovered that she was still living in San Francisco. Armed with that information my friend immediately opened the San Francisco telephone book. Unbelievably, there she was listed using her married last name, first name spelled out in full (an unusual spelling of an otherwise common name), and her maiden name’s initial. She had intentionally listed herself in the telephone directory in a way that he could easily locate her once he had her married name. It seems she was now widowed but had remained in San Francisco rather than return to her native England in the hope that he would one day come searching for her. Incredibly, for over 20 of those many years apart the two had been living within 1 mile of each other. They had regularly walked the same neighborhood sidewalks, shopped in the same neighborhood stores and ate in the same neighborhood restaurants.

When he made the first telephone call to his birth mother, he got her answering machine. Not knowing for certain if this was indeed his birth mother, he was truly very, very excited that the voice on the recording sounded like a woman of her approximate age with a British accent. He called again. This time she answered. After confirming that she was indeed the same woman whose name he had, he said to her “I may be your son” to which she replied “You may be. Is this John?” She had named him John before the adoption, but his adoptive parents had changed his first name. Not knowing that, she had been looking for a man named “John”. They immediately made plans to meet, after which they grew very close and involved in each other’s lives. The birth mother is now included as a member of his family. Both birth mother and adoptive mother are “Mom” with a special love for each for the unique roles that each has played in his life.

Nearly 40 years of wanting to know each other had passed. Two things kept them from finding each other: her last name changed due to her marriage and his first name was changed at adoption. It is mind-boggling to think that these seemingly very minor things kept these two apart for decades.

Thanks from the bottom of our hearts to John Suggs for locating the information that reunited this mother and son, who are now very happy sharing in each other’s lives.

With deepest gratitude,

Joe S.

San Francisco, California

With his guidance I found my birth father. Because you will learn, once you start working with Mr. Suggs, he won’t take the credit. It has been my search: my journey.

With his guidance I found my birth father. Because you will learn, once you start working with Mr. Suggs, he won’t take the credit. It has been my search: my journey.

I could not move on with my life. I have a successful career and have grown up in a nice family with loving parents. But I have not married and I do not have children. This is no accident and I knew that my past, the unknown, was keeping me from moving on.

Family Orchard was referred to me by a legal source in the adoption community. I admit I had this card for over a year before I used it. And it is funny that some things really do happen timely.

Mr. Suggs, founder of Family Orchard, was efficient, supportive, and has a sensitivity and wisdom that was reassuring. Honestly, they were traits I rarely have found in someone outside the adoption triad. I felt understood!

His interesting and impressive background makes him beyond equipped to do this kind of work. My adoption journey has been an emotional and frustrating one, a journey of regret and of lost love found again. Mr. Suggs was patient and sensitive along the way and has provided insight that only a professional could.

When others had failed, when I had tried and backed down so many times and for so many reasons (excuses), Mr. Suggs gently led me down a path I was afraid to travel alone. And it was so worth it! With his guidance I found my birth father. Because you will learn, once you start working with Mr. Suggs, he won’t take the credit. It has been my search: my journey.

We discussed community resources, books, and documentaries. He opened up a door I had long forgotten I closed! And I remembered a time when I was more involved in the adoption community and utilized resources. It was a refreshing reminder that this journey doesn’t have to be done alone; there are always ways to self-growth and ways to connect to others if you want it!

It has taken ten years but I found both my biological parents and reunited them with each other. (And it is quite a story.) What this reunion may turn into is still unknown. For me, the search was never about a relationship, although this has been a nice residual effect. My adoption journey has been about finding truths and about letting go, letting go of the past, letting go of regret, and letting go of the burden of wonder.

The most surprising feeling I still have is empowerment. I set a goal and it wasn’t easy but I did it. I did it! AND YOU CAN TOO. The time is now.

Family Orchard is a resource you can trust. It is a professional service that will deliver. Words cannot express my gratitude.

Thank you.

Kathryn S.

Hartford, CT

Due to John’s skill and expertise a dream that I had for most of my life has come true.

Due to John’s skill and expertise a dream that I had for most of my life has come true.

I am writing this after having met my birth mother for the first time this morning and I need to thank and commend John Suggs for all of his work and dedication that made it possible.

Being adopted, it seems as if there is something (missing) inside that drives you to find out who your birth parents are – like a search for treasure or the holy grail – but much more personal. After years of on again/off again searching with no results I contacted John and almost immediately had the name and contact information of my birth mother.

With John’s care-filled coaching and counseling I spoke with her several times over the past months by phone and was able to successfully move the conversation from her initial outright denial of our relationship to our finally meeting in person this morning. She brought me photos of my extended birth family and shared with me who my birth father was along with the circumstances that led up to my birth!

Due to John’s skill and expertise a dream that I had for most of my life has come true. I cannot thank him or recommend him highly enough.

AMDG

Jim D.

Turlock, CA

Judy’s Story – “For 55 long years there has been a giant hole in my heart. That hole is filled! I’m complete!”

Judy’s Story – “For 55 long years there has been a giant hole in my heart. That hole is filled! I’m complete!”

I have searched for my daughter for decades to no avail ever since that horrible day when she was taken from me by deceit as a little toddler.  I was just 16 years old when she was born and, after I refused to relinquish her when she was born, she was placed in Foster Care while I worked to get a home ready for her. Tragically, one day when I was visiting her a social worker gave me a supposedly “routine foster care visitation form” to sign to make it easy for me to visit her. Well, unbeknownst to me, that routine visitation form turned out to be a legal relinquishment form and, without my knowledge or consent, my baby was spirited away from me and placed in adoption.    

I cannot even begin to describe the terrible heartache I have carried with me every day since then. Over the years, I have searched and searched for her but to no avail. But it was only when my doctor gave me my Cancer diagnosis and I began Chemo Treatment that I knew that if I was ever going to find her it would have to be now.

I was told about John’s Family Orchard from my sister and her husband. At first I thought it would be just another organization like I had unsuccessfully used in the past. Another attempt like the many, many before l had tried with only continued heartache as a result.

I was so very wrong! From the first time I spoke to John I felt a real spark of hope. His sense of confidence was contagious. He listened and understood the pain that had been forever hidden in my heart. He knew the right questions to ask. He didn’t waste one moment getting started and kept me informed all the way. I didn’t have to sit wondering all the while. 

When the call from John came saying ” I found her”, he too was filled with joy. I sobbed but he understood. 

My beautiful daughter and I have now spoken, and God willing, she will soon be in my arms agains. 

For 55 long years there has been a giant hole in my heart. That hole is filled! I’m complete! None of this would have been possible without John Suggs, his compassion, his expertise and steadfastness. Meeting him was a true blessing!

Thank you! 

Judy J

Inverness, Florida


I look just like my biological mother!

I look just like my biological mother!

I had been searching for my biological mother and biological father on and off for over 20 years with no real progress due to the antiquated closed adoption laws of New York State.  Then John came into my life.  Within days he had made more progress than I had in years.  John was everything you could ask for in an advocate.  He is persistent, compassionate, resourceful and an empathetic communicator to help guide you through the roller coaster of emotions you will experience in this very personal journey.

Using my DNA, not only did John first find my biological mother (who, sadly, we discovered had passed away just 3 years before we found her and thus taking my biological father’s identity with her to her grave ) but he pressed on and finally found my biological Father (who, unfortunately, had also passed away.)  But, because of John, I have found living half siblings as well as living cousins and he assisted me with those reunions.

His finding my biological family is a true testament to John’s commitment and persistence in helping adoptees close the loop on discovering their hereditary history.  As we all know, this can be an emotional, frustrating and trying experience.  John is not only an expert investigator, opening doors you never even knew existed, but he is a master at supporting you through the process, explaining the science and mapping out a strategy to help get you the answers you’re looking for.

Don’t wait and let precious time pass!  Reach out to John to have him help guide you through this door to your past.  It is open and waiting for you!

I recommend John Suggs without a single reservation to any person looking to find answers to they’re family origins.

Christopher C.

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

 

LAW ENFORCEMENT: DNA DOESN’T LIE

LAW ENFORCEMENT: DNA DOESN’T LIE

Hi. I am John F. Suggs and my expertise is in genetic analysis, forensic research and investigation in the field of genetic genealogy where I assist “persons of unknown parentage” such as: adult adoptees, sperm and egg donor’s adult children and others searching for their biological roots. In addition, using the same investigative methods, I have recently expanded my services to include assisting members of Law Enforcement in the solving of criminal cold cases.

DNA Testing and Analysis is an exciting and rapidly evolving field.

Back in the Spring of 2002 when I submitted my New York University Masters Thesis entitled: “Genetic Testing and Privacy: The Role of Anonymous Genetic Testing and Information Technology”, I wish I could say that, in it, I successfully predicted the utter transformation DNA Testing would shortly have on so many aspects of our society. But I didn’t.

Since the first groundbreaking commercial autosomal DNA testing for genealogy was introduced by 23andMe in 2009, the dramatic growth and explosion in this field has been nothing short of astounding. At this point, we are able to reach back 7 generations on both parental lines. The results are connecting us with literally hundreds of hundreds of millions of people long passed and are proving critical in solving even some of the most difficult cases.

In 2018 another major tectonic shift happened. That spring it was revealed that, for the very first time, law enforcement had successfully used these same unknown parentage search techniques along with the public DNA database GEDmatch to identify and arrest the (alleged) Golden State Killer. In the ensuing months and years, more and more cold cases have been successfully solved the same way.

I believe that this moment in time is going to be recognized to be just as significant in the field of law enforcement as the original establishment of two way communication systems in police vehicles. Remember before the “squad car radio”, police had to “report in” using Police Call Boxes on the streets.

Going forward, it is now going to become virtually common practice for law enforcement organizations to use the very skills and techniques that our field has painstakingly developed and mastered in our searches for birth families of adult adoptee and other persons of unknown parentage to solve not only criminal cold cases but “real time” cases.

Over it the years, adult adoptees and their searchers had no choice but to develop these critical skills and techniques precisely because their adoption files and original birth certificates have historically been sealed by the courts. And now, it is that very same legal system, which for decades has routinely denied them their original identity and birth records, that is now turning to our fields unknown parentage methods and tools to solve both long standing cold cases and “real time” cases.

These cutting edge issues of DNA analysis are transforming not only law enforcement and the adoption world but our entire society. Remember: DNA Doesn’t Lie.